It's hard out here for a pimp.
And by "here" I mean the audition room, so, yes, I would be the "pimp" in this scenario.
So now that I've maybe caught your attention, where to begin... okay, well, allow me to begin by saying I'm about to share about 3 audition stories out of the tons and tons of auditions we've done since January 1. So what I'm saying is so far these upcoming stories are few & far between. And let's just hope it stays that way;) But still, sometimes you just HAVE THOSE DAYS:
1. The Agent Workshop -
So, through Rachel's theatre program - Cap21 - she got the chance to perform in a showcase for several agencies here in NYC. One of these agencies that she had the privilege of interviewing with was also holding a Q&A session nearby that actors were able to attend and then perform a short song for the agent afterward. Well, Rach was kind enough to mention this Q&A opportunity to me - but what we couldn't have predicted was my impending 20-day viral infection. Ah, yes, what is my life if not a constant joke just waiting to be made into a sad sad blog post? So, anyway, the day comes & it was as if a medicinal apocalypse struck my immune system. I guzzled:
- Lemon tea
- Honey
- Airborne
- Medicine
- Coconut water
- Heck, I even downed a shot of olive oil. Lucky for me, my sweet roomies bought the garlic-flavored olive oil ;) Oh yes. Welcome to my world.
And despite all the remedies, my speaking voice still sounded like a small piece of cling wrap was covering my vocal chords. Strange, I know, but unfortunately surprisingly accurate. Rachel admitted to never having heard my voice sound like this ever before. So, anyway, that's where I was at. I attempted to do some vocal warm-ups, decided I didn't have the chops at the moment to do my usual audition song, so I decided to do the song "Someday" from the Wedding Singer. Cute song, not too challenging. So, skip ahead to the Q&A where I continue to cough up a lung every couple minutes in preparation for my 15 seconds of singing time with this agent. Then the time comes to sing my song. I have about 2-3 minutes before I have to go in, and I unknowingly make the gravest mistake of all: I decide to take a spritz of Rachel's "Singer's Saving Grace" throat spray. We have long since discovered that this throat spray is only useful when being applied to an already healthy throat.
But singers beware: it has now been proven to me TWICE that if applied to a damaged throat, your throat will experience a feeling unlike anything it's felt before. It's a mixture of a sting-like sensation paired with a perpetual urge to cough paired with an unexpected - and albeit confusing - feeling that you might actually lose your lunch. (Or in my case, 4 pounds of honey lemon tea & olive oil. Sweet.) Anyway, it was a weird time, masked only temporarily by guzzling an entire bottle of water. And watering eyes.
(use with discretion)
Finally, the audition: Now, all actors know that the #1 rule of thumb is that you never apologize for being sick. They always say that if your sickness makes that much of a difference in your singing, then the person listening will be able to tell that you are, in fact, sick. Well, "they" were correct. I confidently plunged into my first note without apology, and luckily for me, the agent's awareness of the sitch going down in my throat was pretty much immediate. So immediate, in fact, that I had to start over my song. Now let me just preface by saying that I never restart my song... I'm actually pretty positive this was a first for me in a professional setting. And here I found myself starting over my song. Twice. And the, erm, congestion in my throat was so overwhelming that it became almost ridiculous to not address it. So I gave a quick, "I'm so sorry, I'm a little congested." He then affirmed my efforts, and I proceeded to enter encore #3 of the Wedding Singer. Well, this time was the worst of all, but there was no turning back now. So I sucked it up, gave the most valiant audition any victim of polio could have dreamed of, and finished my audition. I then gave a sort of remorseful finishing statement, to which he replied, "No, no, it's ok. You're not the first actor to have to sing through a sickness!"
So there was that. Really, I was just impressed at his ability to develop a graceful and diplomatic reply without simultaneously crushing my dreams. Well done, good sir, and thank you. So I picked up my pride, walked out the door and couldn't decide whether to laugh or to treat myself to a nice pity-chocolate cake. Needless to say, I did not get an agent that night;) But someday when my kids are going through hard times or an embarrassing situation, I can't wait to pull out of my bag of tricks "that time when your mom performed the 'song of phlegm' for a new york agent."
alllrriighhtt (photo cred: victoria teague;)
#alekzasbirthday
2. My First Dance Call -
Hahahahaha. So this was quite a time. We found out that a new Texas theatre was having NYC auditions for their production of Thoroughly Modern Millie. Well, wouldn't you know it, Rachel, Victoria & I were IN Thoroughly Modern Millie in college, so we figured of all the dance calls, this one might not be the MOST tragic - especially considering it was a new Texas theatre... so surely we could handle it!? Well, ok, so we arrived hoping that the first audition would be a tap dancing call. But when the boys exited their audition dripping in sweat & laughing in disbelief, we learned that this was more so a dancer-technique-and-prove-that-you're-trained sort of call. Anyway, so the three of us were in the first audition group. While learning the dance, the amount of turns & footwork that were required of us started FREAKING me out, and I was relieved to find out that Rachel was having some difficulties too. When we separated into groups of two, Victoria went in the first group and looked great! (And though she won't admit it, Rachel really did fine;) And I, well, I stumbled through the first few run-throughs with some difficulty, but it was fine. But then we were asked to go in groups of four.
Oh. Okay.
Well, by this time, my nerves overcame me, and I pretty much couldn't remember anything about the turns. I mean, every other one was in the opposite direction starting with the opposite foot requiring ridiculous opposite things with the arms - like, WHAT? But eventually I found a trick that I could totally nail - I like to call it "strike a really beautiful pose while the other girls turn and then nail the final hand flick." Oh, did I nail it. So I just sat and smiled, silently cheering the other girls on with my facial expression as they did their turns, and then...HAND FLICK. And anyway, I didn't get a callback - you know, like, their loss - but Victoria kindly reassured me that no matter what, I landed that last flick. And that is the one thing I will choose to remember about my first dance call & consequently how it will be remembered by all that choose to ask me about it.
"we love dance calls"
3. The Type-Casting -
Finally, the type-casting. So, stop me if I've explained before, but type-casting is something casting directors do when they have a large showing of actors at an audition and a very specific type they're looking for. So they will "type" the auditioners to eliminate all the "types" of actors there that they know they are not looking for. (For example, if they are looking to cast Leisl in Sound of Music, they can pretty much eliminate every female that looks over the age of 23.) They typically do this by taking in headshots and then announcing the people they wish to see or by calling people in and assessing them in groups of 10 or so (you know, looking them up & down - very "america's next top model"). But recently casting directors have decided to get creative with their typing, and we've had the pleasure of being the subjects of this creativity.
So we attended a call for the musical "9 to 5," and they were calling girls in groups of 10 to be type-cast by stepping forward and doing a double turn for everyone. Oh, the joy. Thank you. So we all got through it, and everyone was pretty much of equal skill (it was a singers call, so no one was particularly fantastic at doing a double, aside from a few girls). Then it was my turn. I stepped up, placed my foot out in preparation... and then I turned. And I nailed it. I was so relieved! Then, I got back in line, and something occurred to me.
I had - confidently & majestically - done a single turn.
Oh my gosh. The other girls might not have had the best doubles, but at least they were doubles. Oh, the horror. All I could hope in that moment is that everyone assumed I had done it on purpose. Oh pleeease wrongfully assume that I knew what I was doing. Well, anyway, let's just say I was excited to get that day going and move on from my morning audition.
but look who I ran into at an audition!
this Bring It On: Tour dance captain would've been very proud;)
(Eean's prob gonna be on broadway in the next few minutes)
So anyway, there's that.
Hope you enjoyed yourself.
And now that audition season is coming to a close, I can look back on these memories with a special fondness. Especially in knowing that these were the only 3 horror stories I could think of! The rest have been great, and I really quite enjoy auditions! I don't love the early mornings or the waiting around, but the actual auditions are the best! I live for those 30 seconds where I actually get to do what I love to do!
Well, I'd love to follow-up with some success stories for the sake of my own dignity, but I think I'm all blogged-out for today. But since it's been so LONG since I last blogged, get ready! Cuz it's springtime, and I love this city, and I have lots to update on.
Thanks for reading.
And happy almost MAY, everyone!
Wild.
we luv summertime in the city! and tacos!
Oh yeah, and THIS ^ HAPPENED! So stay tuned... ;)
